
Well, right off the bat, I can see three problems here.
A) “Hog” has never, in this or any parallel universe, been short for “hedgehog”.
B) The hedgehog depicted here looks to be either paralytically drunk or suffering from severe mental retardation. Either way – unsavoury.
C) Sticking “yummy!” on there totally changes the meaning of “Let’s go the whole hog” from “Let’s take this activity to its limits” to “Let’s eat a hedgehog”. Why, in the name of all that is sacred, would I want to eat a hedgehog?
The idea of it isn’t even particularly comical, just baffling and a bit nauseating. Queasy confusion – is that really the sensation you want people to feel when they look at you?
It makes you wonder if these T-shirt manufacturers employ any kind of quality control whatsoever. If they do, I’d imagine that the Quality-Control Manager is the oldest, blindest, deafest, thickest person in the factory, and when they finally keel over, the cigar-chomping floor manager simply grabs whoever’s to hand and pins the still-warm Quality-Control Manager badge on them.
“Here, you!” he barks at an elderly man in brown overalls, wringing out a mop. “What’s your name, old-timer?”
“It’s Sid, Mr Whipsnade, sir,” comes the frail response. “Sid Chumley, sir.”
“Well congratulations, Sid Chumley – you just got promoted. Put this on and go stand over there. You’re Quality-Control Manager now.”
“But… But Mr Whipsnade, sir, I’m just the caretaker ‘ere – I ‘ave been for 46 years now. I don’t know anyfin’ about controllin’ any managed qualities…”
“Oh pish-posh, Sid – you’ll soon get the hang of it. Off you toddle now.”
It’s a fretful, heavily burdened Sid who returns home that night to his kindly wife of 52 years.
“Ada, I’ve absolutely no idea what I’m doin’! They showed me somethin’ with a hedgehog on it and asked if it was okay to get ‘signed-off’, and I just stood there noddin’ away like a daft flippin’ monkey! I’m out of me depth, love. I just want to go back on the mops!”
“Eeeh, don’t fret Sid love, I’m sure you’re doin’ a grand job! I’m so proud of you. My husband, the Quality-Control Manager! I’ll make you some extra-special butties for your lunch tomorrow. Special butties for an important businessman!”





