Given their comfortingly generic name and their reassuring unoriginal, guitars-aflame logo, I think we can all agree that Eagle Flame 2000 are a band destined for big, big things. If you’re not deeply excited about rrrockin’ out to their upcoming album The Sound Of Fire (comin’ atcha “fifth March”) then you must be some kind of cloth-eared titty-brain.
Given the comparatively tiddly size of the font used for the “2000″, I suspect that Eagle Flame 2000 had the “2000″ part of their name foisted upon them, possibly due to a legal cease-and-desist order from another band called Eagle Flame.
“It’s cool, guys,” their cigar-chompin’ manager Tony will have assured them. “Howsabout we rename you Eagle Flame 2010? It’s hot, it’s feathery – it’s now!”
“Nooo, dude!” flounces lead singer Bruce Horses. “Modern music sucks, you dig? We’re all about that ’70s rock’n'rollll shit! Flames! Eagles! Wizard-women in lace!”
“Okay okay,” sighs Tony, who’s heard this speech a million times. “Let’s compromise then, huh? Howsabout… Eagle Flames 2000? It’s hot, it’s feathery – it’s half sorta retro!”
“Whatever, dude,” shrugs Bruce. “But you’re totally snuffin’ out the Eagle Flame.”
But never mind that whole sordid enforced-name-change business, Bruce – what you should really be getting upset about is the fact that Tony – inept, cheapskate Tony – has chosen to promote your hard-rockin’, whisky-pissin’ debut album via the medium of an insipid T-shirt, hanging like a yawn in a sleepy corner of Marks & Spencer. You know how Nickelback made it? Neon sports-socks in Asda. That‘s the way you break a band these days.
